wow

wow i really havent done this for a long time... i thought i had put something in after the tag... oops.
well to bring you up to date... i hadnt done very much in the past month or two since i have written last. i have been doing school work, getting stopped by my mom from ever dancing again (which i still am finding ways around that one). and then i have just gone through school more...
found a good place in our school for fun things...
kissed becca (oh man was that a good day). i couldnt think for my sax lesson that day or for any of my classes after that memorable moment of my life.
then becca left.
the rest was pretty booring other than Friday after christmas. it was my brother's birthday and so me and my dad took him skiing. i rented skis up there because mine are broken at the moment. and i finnally started to apreciate mogules and all the fun that they can be (i blame the ski's they were meant to turn) and i finally got good enough at them that i was doing better than my dad (not saying much but still)
all throughout the whole week there has been this kind of snow that i have always enjoyed... it is the big flaked packing snow... we only get it for about a month of the winter then the winds change and we get the really stupid snow that just turns to ice... this snow, instead of getting me all happy has made me really really sad and lonely just thinking about other times and the fun stuff that i used to do and that i wanted to do when it was snowing like this ever again.
anywho... i think that is a verry wattered down version of the past month... if i ever get the time i will write down more about this but i think becca's side of most of this is a pretty accurate one...
whelp i think that is about all... if you have questions or something you would like for me to say on this please just let me know and i will write it down as soon as possible (which may take a long time)

TAG!!!

soo... i guess i have been tagged...
hmm... seven things about me... ok

1) I love music no matter what it is (just as long as it doesnt bring about a bad spirit) and music is pretty much my life.
2) I play around five instruments... the Piano, guitar, bass guitar, tenor sax, and clarinet. I really want to learn how to play the flute, all the string instruments and all the whistle instruments... oh and you cant forget about the bagpipes... :D
3) I am the youngest of six children. my cousins on my mom's side of the family are amazing and very close to my heart but my dad's family i could really do without... they are the psycho ones who get into the wierdest things and that is where i am right now... in California with my crazy family. (p.s. becca... a week is a long time)
4) Being the youngest in a perfect family i have taken on the responsibility of the black sheep (yeah right!). no i am just kidding... i am just the only one home since all of my siblings have moved out and so my parents can really focus on me and only me. (sometimes i wish other people would be living at my house that my parents would have to worry about)
5) i am not that observant when it comes to time... i never really thought that time mattered so i don't care about it. yes this world revolves around time but when you get the time to forget about time... man does time fly.
6) I like to spend more time with other families than my own and i also feel that i can talk to my friends parents a bit easier than i can with my friends.... hmm... i think i should work on that...
7) I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the whole wide world and she can dance... i guess this is the best time to say this... becca... all last year i was very shy when it came to dancing with you... i thought that you would think i was a very bad dancer (which you probably do anyway) so i am sorry that the first time i really danced with you was this year.

so i guess that is seven...
i dont really have anyone to tag other than maddi so i tag you maddi... and anyone else who hasnt been tagged yet who is reading this... i tag you guys also

work in progress

i have started up poetry again from when i was a few years younger and i want to get some input on a poem that i wrote because of some very funny circumstances.
anywho... here goes...

Your Friend

I am an arm around your shoulder when you are cold.

I am your voice when you can't be heard.

I am two ears when you need them most.

I am a shoulder to cry on when you are sad.

I am a pillow when you need a nap.

I will laugh when you laugh.

I will cry when you cry.

I am a comforter.

I am a healer.

I will be with you forever.

I am your friend.

and there it is... i would aprecieate comments and critiques.

oh and p.s. Becca, you are a very great inspiration. my mind is open so much more when i am around you and right now just thinking about you...

:)

good night and farewell till next time

"And...Curtain"

so... that was an exciting day. when i went to bed last night i was having nightmares about my latest issue with braden. i did not feel that worthy to be up blessing the sacrament but i was the only priest present for sacrament meeting so i had a very slim chance of not blessing it. so i did so and while blessing, i said my own prayer about braden and that our lives wouldnt be ruined. i went through the rest of the day after church sitting in front of my laptop, listening to all the music that Becca has given me (brian crain is a real tear jerker) and watching all the slide shows that i have made from my camera and thinking about death (i know, it sounds morbud but, trust me, it wasn't), and all of a sudden, my pictures changed from the scenery of Alaska to my efy pictures and the formal dance. that was one of the best nights because it was when him and i really felt the spirit the most and it was a time where he was the biggest funniest guy in the world. nothing could bring him down. so as i was talking to a friend of both of ours (yeah really mature, riiiight) i got her talking to him about me and i learned that he had cooled down and we could talk about our differences. i still think that we may have a bit of tension between us but not as much as would bring us both down. i guess that we really are part of a quartar brain or else we would have been long gone away from each other long ago.

well that's a nice kick in the butt

so i am guessing that issac newton was not just talking about physics when he made up his laws. for instance with every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. my best friend from sixth grade and i got into a very heated argument about friendship and girls tonight. once i was at the peak of my joy, i told my friend what type of date i like... very spontanious and just good clean fun. at first i thought that we were talking about this in a very civilized maner. but then something happened when he was talking and it didnt sound like he was himself anymore. he started yelling about me and started teaching me how to parent my future kids and how the way that i was telling him was all wrong and yet it was the way that i have been raised and mainly everyone has been raised. by letting the kids go out in the world and make choices. somehow he thought of that as being satanic and that we need to know what our kids are doing at all times and holding their hands through the tough times and not letting them learn for themselves. then somehow he started yelling at me about my behavior at efy and how i was never there for him making him sound like he was my child but yet he was the one that would never let anyone talk to him and he would lock his mind out from everyone that he saw.
i really wish that he would not have blown up because like i have said time and time again... nothing hurts me. anything you do to me will hurt you more than me. now he has called me the devil and does not want to do anything but to argue heatedly. i cannot stand that especially now that i have resolved to calm down. i guess this is nothing new to me but being the outright person that i am i have succeded in saying too much truth and hurting my best friend.
so if you havent caught on yet... having the best beginning to a day in your whole life may result in the worst ending. and all this through a misinturpretation of one word... date

there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

i feel so happy right now! i think that i have found the way to have a fun and successful date. go with someone you know and dont care that you will embarrass yourself.

today after school i went on a date with the most beautiful girl in the world. we had a blast planning the date on the spot... first me and Becca went over to one of my dear friend's house and watched X2 in their theatre but we didnt see the ending because of the time issues. so we went over to my house where we waited for my cousins date then we started planning the night.

our first plan of the time was to go eat at some chinese restaurant then go to the U of U engineering department building and set up a mini golf course inside. but alas, the chinese restaurant was not where we thought it was so we just ate at Cafe Rio (great food by the way) and then we went to get the equipment for the course but we never really got out of that house in time for us to go to the U, play one game, and get Becca home by her curfew because we became too attached with the movie Brother Bear (then my cousin had to start wrestling with all of my little cousins that were at the house we were at). so we just decided to go over to Dans and, we were thinking, play mini golf in the parking lot. but when we got there we saw the ground and it had too many hills where the balls would roll so we decided to go insid and play capture the flag. we had a great hiding spot for our stuffed dog... it was in the dog food section with its front paws on one of the food bags and it's head resting on it's paws making puppie eyes at everyone who walked by. once Bryce found our dog we had to take becca home. so, reluctantly, we left. we made it to becca's house said goodbye gave her a hug and sent her inside (hmm... i did have 15 extra mins though. i should have kept her out longer. [note to self:...])
after that i went home while beezer was teasing me and all, like any good respectable and fun cousin should do, and i went home. later on i was talking to her and she just will not let me not smile.

goodbye

life really sucks right now...
i have had so many people leaving utah these past few months but only two have really hit home for me. these two are because they are completely different than the other ones. first off, they are both my favorite Trek siblings and swing idols. i am guessing that they are so effective at making me cry is because they are the only two right now that they are the only ones that have made me think that i may never see them ever again.
my first ever disheartening came over this summer when most of my friends graduated, leaving me and a few others to keep going and to finnish our highschool careers.
then i learned that once summer started my best ever friend that i have known the longest out of all of my swing friends had moved to Washington to get away from Utah and her mother. sarah will never come back for any extensive period of time now.
then almost a month ago i learned that my other trek sibling, Austin had joined the marines. he is leaving tomorrow Nov. 5th and i really could never see him again on this earthly life. i will miss you so much Austin and i know that all the rest of your friends feel just the same as i do... crummy that we are going to loose one of the brightest smiles in the world for at least four years.